47 days

(My kids on our field trip to Columbia)

So I've never counted down the last days of school before.. Never... In all my years of teaching or working in Christian school administration and I feel a little bit guilty about knowing exactly the number of days left here in Modesto. It isn't my school, my co-workers, or my class that has driven me to this countdown. Nope, it is directly related to the fact that my life is on hold.

Let me explain why I feel like the pause button has been stuck since October. For those of you who know me this has been a year of great challenge living in Modesto. Suffice it to say my husband accepted a position at MC and subsequently found out that the powers to be never really wanted him in that position. It was a complicated, disappointing mess and just four weeks into the season... Yep, just 4 weeks... They fired him. He got lots of support from teachers, his principal and AD but he was damaged and we had no idea how God would work it all out. But God was good and opened a door for him at Woodland Christian (that is another post altogether) and so since October, he has been in Woodland all week and I've been living here in Modesto by myself. I could have moved up to the Solano/Yolo county area in January as I had two job offers but we felt it was best for me to finish the year here. I am thankful that I already have a job lined up and I feel that it is a good fit.

So I'm between two places. Trying really hard to give my students my very best. They deserve no less than that. Trying really hard to use my spare time at night to be productive and take care of tasks. It is so much easier to sit on the couch and watch mindless TV though. I'm trying really hard to keep a life focused on today as I know none of us really know what tomorrow will bring.

So today was day 47..... Day 47 started with a student telling me he was going to another school... When asked why, he whispered to me that his mom didn't think he was learning anything here. Tough way to begin the day and trying really hard not to take it personally. I know he is learning. I have proof. I've watched him grow in academics, self-control, confidence and so much more and yet I recognize how much growth he has to make. I question why it bothers me so much. Maybe I care a little too much. I was really hoping day 47 would have a great, funny story from my classroom to share on this blog but maybe day 47 was meant for me to realize that I can only do so much for my students.

Lisa

p.s. I did have a woman at the gym tonight tell me I looked just like Sandra Bullock. I look nothing like Sandra Bullock but I'll take it tonight.